Dear Nathan,

I've gotten to spend a couple of days bonding with you in the hospital.

Haven't done that since, well...since you were born.

Only this time you are one hooked up to monitors in the hospital bed and I am the giant baby on that little couch next to you.

Yesterday I woke you up for school.  You were in bed.  But you teared up and told me that you think you had walked in your sleep and you hurt yourself during the night.  We walked over to where you thought you had walked to in the night, and the evidence was there that you had been there and you had passed out.  You remembered hitting your head on the wall and waking up there, but not how you had gotten back to bed.  There are plenty more details to this part of the story....a story that you can tell if you want to.

Then we walked back to your room and you fainted in front of me.  I tried my best to catch you and cushion your fall.

You got to take your first ride in an ambulance to the hospital.  

We assumed your fainting had something to do with the concussions you had last month.

Fortunately, those brain tests appear to be normal.

Incidentally and unfortunately, during blood work ups, the doctors noticed you were quite anemic.

So we spent the night and had them monitor these blood levels.

This morning they were lower than yesterday.

Low enough to require a blood transfusion and more testing.

At a different hospital.

So we got you there.  Your second ride in an ambulance.

And tomorrow you will have more tests done.

And hopefully, we can be done with all this bonding-in-the-hospital-business.

Tomorrow you will have your bone marrow tested.

(I thought about keeping some of my thoughts on this private....but that isn't me.  And it isn't you, either.  If it was you...then you know I would have kept this journal entry to myself.  But we both live our stories out there.  And your story inspires people.  You inspire me.)

You have tons of friends.  Tons of people praying for you today.  I had to empty my text inbox twice today. And I had nearly 200 messages by email at home.

People believe in you and are believing for you.

You were strong when you were born.  10-and-a-half-pounds strong.

You are strong now.  Physically, spiritually and emotionally.

But just so you know....if you ever feel weak, in any of these areas....physically, spiritually or emotionally...you have tons of people who want to be strong for you.

And your mama will ALWAYS ALWAYS be there to help cushion any blow or fall.

I love you with every fiber of my existence.

Love, Mama